Sharing a love language; lessons from a hoot owl

Country Notebook

By Rogene "Jeannie" McPhereson

Journal contriubtor

A hoot owl hoots deep in the forest. Momentarily, another owl hoots from a different location. I soon realize this is not accidental, but purposeful as it goes on for several more times. I assume it is a form of hoot owl communication. When quizzing an avial (bird) professional at a fall Kansas Forestry Association Field Day, I was told it likely would be a male and female communicating. I think of it as an owl’s love language.

In my thoughts, I travel back more than 70 years ago on a Friday afternoon following art at the one-room school I attended in Nebraska. It was probably early October when the project was to create a hoot owl from construction paper in celebration of fall holidays especially Halloween. Halloween was celebrated more kindly than today’s gruesome costumes and haunted houses. It was a time of innocence when we may not have even been in costume or rarely even went out to trick or treat.

Likely we were not in Halloween costume when our aunt invited my siblings and I to come for candy. Frankly, I dressed like a clown most days, having to wear hand-me-downs from three cousins. I vividly remember a brown faded-cotton dress with almost undistinguishable small flowers as the pattern. My hair was pretty darn close to being red naturally and a little curly.

When my aunt handed me the bucket of candy, I thought I was to take the entire bucket. The embarrassing stuff is what I still recall most vividly.  Like the time my friend and I were ice skating on the pond when in my bright green wool skirt, I sat down where a goose had pooped.

These weren’t even the most embarrassing things I experienced getting to adulthood. I’ll save those for another time and get back to the task of identifying love languages

The original work was done by Dr. Gary Chapman in his 1992 book, The Five Love Languages:

• Words of affirmation: verbal appreciation, compliments, and encouragement.

• Quality time: undivided attention, meaningful conversations, and activities together.

• Gifts: thoughtful and meaningful gifts symbolizing appreciation and affection.

• Acts of service: tasks that are helpful and ease another’s burdens.

• Physical touch: hugging, holding hands, and sharing intimacy.

The hoot owl hasn’t read the book, but I’ll venture into new territory by suggesting the owl has its own creative way to express affection. By hooting back and forth the owl is encouraged to continue the relationship. Since I don’t speak owl, I can’t say for certain it is meaningful, but why would they continue if it wasn’t an invitation to seek out another owl’s companionship?

Obviously this dissection of five potential ways to express and experience love is meant for humans. I’m sharing the owl’s perspective to help us realize loving a friend or foe can be simply expressed. If you watched the memorial celebration for the individuals who loss their lives on 9/11 or later due to environmental toxicity, you probably heard over and over how the event brought people together to focus on our unity as Americans.

Though the book as published in 1992 was intended to encourage romantic partnerships, can it be a way forward to meet the biblical commandment to love one another?

Giving compliments, sharing space, donating time and money, smiling and expressing empathy are just a few ways to be kind to someone who is not your soulmate, but a helpmate trying to make the world just a little better.  If an owl can be respectful, surely humans can be, too.